


Clean Break

by RainPuddles



Category: Happiest Season (2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate gas station scene, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feelings, Gen, Hints of Abby/Riley, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Break Up, You got sadness in your stocking this year, i don't know anything about cars, mentions of internalized homophobia, no reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:39:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27791650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainPuddles/pseuds/RainPuddles
Summary: Instead of talking to Harper at the gas station, Abby runs.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sick as a dog, I just watched the Happiest Season with my girlfriend, and this is all I can think about. 
> 
> Rated T because Abby deserves some post-breakup swears.

“Three different types of yellow. Personally, I think that's exactly two more types of yellow than anyone needs. Don't you agree, Abby?”

Abby closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and made the most noncommittal noise she could manage. She loved John, she really did. He had been her best friend as long as she could remember, and without him she might have never had the courage to make it through the past 24 hours. His attempts to distract her, however, were so transparent they were almost painful.

Abby threw her weight against the door to the gas station a little bit harder than was probably necessary. She was immediately greeted by a blast of frigid air, so dry that it practically split her lip and so intense that it plastered her blonde hair to her face. John followed after her, his scarf billowing around his face and his plastic bag of comfort food shuddering.

“Now, red number six?” John called, shouting to be heard over the wind. “That's a dye right there. That's a dye to die for, you know what I'm saying?”

Despite herself, Abby smiled. “Yeah? What about red four?”

“Oh. Oh shit. Speaking of red, we've got a problem.”

John's tone immediately stopped Abby in her tracks. He was staring across the gas station parking lot, and the bag of snacks had tumbled from his grip. It took a few moments of staring through the whirling snow, but eventually she was able to find the object of his gaze. A red compact car pulling into the parking lot, its worn tires scrabbling for purchase on the ice. It was a car Abby knew well. Maybe it was just her imagination, but even through the blizzard and at this distance, she could almost see the pair of fuzzy dice she had bought Harper as an ironic gift for her last birthday, and the coffee cup that she had left in the car.

John crossed his arms. “Oh, she is not.”

In the intervening seconds between spotting the car and watching it pull into a parking space, Abby's heart had managed to claw its way up into her throat. She had left the Caldwell household ten minutes ago fully intending for it to be the last time that she and Harper would lay eyes on each other. Sure, they would probably have to interact when she moved out, but that was a long time off. Abby swallowed. Oh God, moving out. She hadn't thought about that. It made her feel like she was going to retch. “I can't do this. She can't see me like this.”

“Abby, don't panic. Here's the plan,” John said, putting his hands on her shoulders and forcing her to look into his eyes. “Go hide in the gas station bathroom. I'll go grab my car and pull it around. I'll run over her toes if I can.”

“What?”

“Sorry, I was just trying to support you in your post-breakup state. I won't run over her toes, unless she gets in my way.”

Across the parking lot, Harper was hurriedly extricating herself from their, no, from her car. Just seeing her made Abby's heart clench. Even after everything that had happened over the past weekend, it was still Harper. Harper, with her long brown hair, and spidery hands, and smile that could light up a Christmas tree. Abby couldn't do this, not now. Her was tired, cold, and her makeup had run all over.

“Come on, Abby, let's move,” John murmured, gently shaking her shoulder. Abby shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. Harper was already halfway across the parking lot, and she was wearing that gray beanie that Abby loved, and oh God, she was still so beautiful. The window of time to avoid her was rapidly slipping away, and Abby couldn't do anything but stare.

“Need a ride?”

The voice was not John's. Instead, it came from a navy Subaru that had just pulled up next to them unnoticed, and was now idling there, one tire halfway on the curb. The driver's window was rolled down, and inside was a familiar face.

“I said, need a ride?” Riley asked. She was smiling, but there was a sad edge to it, and the expression did not reach her eyes.

Abby glanced at John. He gave her a small nod, his glasses flashing and a small smile gracing his face. “Go on. I'll talk to Harper.”

Stumbling through the slush as if in a daze, Abby made her way around Riley's car, ripped open the door, and threw herself into the passenger seat. She pulled the door shut behind her, shutting out the sound of the howling wind with a decisive snap. The heat of the car washed over her, along with the scent of air freshener and the gentle rush of static on the radio.

Riley shifted the Subaru into drive and brushed her hair back out of her face. “Anywhere you want me to take you?”

Abby leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the passenger side window. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the muted sounds of John and Harper's voices, raised in argument. “Fuck. I don't care. Anywhere but here.”


	2. Chapter 2

Abby had always found that you could tell a lot about someone by what they chose to keep in their car. John had some fashion magazines, a lot of used electronics, and a police scanner. Her own car had pictures of Abby. Harper had pictures of Abby and of her parents, which in retrospect, Abby thought, was sort of telling.

When Abby looked around Riley's car, it seemed at first like she was looking at the car of any other doctor: There was a textbook in the back seat, along with a neat stack of documents on the floor. Upon closer examination, however, small things began to jump out at her: A trashy lesbian romance novel sitting on the dashboard, worn and dog-eared. A collection of colorful keychains in the cupholder. A half-dozen rainbow pamphlets shoved haphazardly in a compartment in the door. Abby was too exhausted to think much about what any of these things said about Riley, but they were oddly comforting nonetheless. They were signs that she was here, with someone real and human.

Neither of them spoked for a long time. Riley simply drove, and Abby whiled away the minutes staring out the windshield of the car, watching the oncoming snow eddy about in the vehicle's slipstream. Between that and the steady hiss of static from the radio, things were oddly peaceful here, a far cry from anything that had happened recently.

“So,” Riley said, not looking at Abby. “I don't know if there's, uh, some shit you want to talk about, but you don't have to say anything if you don't want. I'm just going to drive around for a while, okay?”

Abby nodded, and for a time, they drove on in silence. It took her a long time to find her words, and when she did, they came out small, barely above a whisper.

“Thanks for picking me up back there.” Abby wasn't sure that she actually was thankful for that. In the moment, it had seemed like a godsend. Anything to get away from Harper and avoid dealing with her emotions. Now that the moment had passed, however, doubt had began to gnaw at the edges of her mind. Was it really the right decision? How would things have gone differently if she had stayed to hear Harper out?

“No problem,” Riley said. “I figured that you probably didn't want to be there.”

Abby shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

The Subaru's tires hit a patch of slush, and Riley hit the brakes, filling the car with a loud grinding. “I mean it. When Harper and I broke up, I didn't talk to her for years. I mean, part of that was because she wouldn't talk to me anymore, couldn't have me gaying up the place and casting suspicion on her, right? Honestly though, it's probably one of the nicest things she ever did for me. Gave me a clean break, you know? Like a snapped arm.” Riley laughed. An emotion halfway between bitterness and nostalgia flitted across her face, and was gone an instant later.

“Sure.” In some logical part of her brain, Abby supposed was glad that she hadn't spoken to Harper, but there wasn't space in her heart for that right now.

The two of them continued on in silence. At some point, Riley fiddled the radio, and the calming static was replaced with the saccharine notes of an alt-rock version of a Christmas carol that Abby did not recognize. Somehow, against all odds, that was what did it. Listening to the sappy carol unlocked whatever door had been holding back the tears that had been collecting in her ever since Harper had first called Sloane a liar. It was Christmas Eve, and instead of talking to her girlfriend's parents, or calling John to deal with the last minute stress of a poorly planned proposal, she was sitting in the car of a woman she barely knew, in a town she didn't know, listening to the worst music ever conceived. She wept openly, heedless of Riley in the seat beside her, or the snot dripping onto the outfit that just a few hours ago she had been so excited to wear. 

“You know what the stupidest part of this is?” She eventually managed, her voice thick.

Riley glanced at her, a note of apprehension in her voice. “What's that?”

“If I had ended up talking to her, back at the gas station, and she'd made some big romantic speech or something? I probably would've taken her back. I would've taken her back, and we would've acted like this stupid weekend never happened.”

Riley nodded carefully. “Do you really want that?”

“No? Maybe? I don't know.” Abby buried her head in her hands. “I just wish that none of this had ever happened.”

“Yeah. I feel that.”

Dim red light filled the car, as a solitary stoplight boldly attempted to make itself known through a coating of snow. Riley eased the Subaru to a halt, and turned to Riley, catching her in her brown eyes. On any other night, that gaze would have stopped Abby's heart for a few beats, but in the moment it just made her nostalgic for what she used to have.

“Harper's shitty relationship with her family doesn't give her the right to treat you like you don't matter, ok? It took me years to come to terms with that, but it's true.”

Abby nodded, not really listening. There would be time for listening later, when everything doesn't hurt so much, and when the sound of Harper's name on her ears does not feel akin to being stabbed. Shutting her eyes to the outside world, she leaned back and spoke the most honest words that she had said since arriving at the Caldwell household nearly 72 hours ago.

“Fuck Christmas.”

The light turned green, and Riley hit the gas. “Yeah. Fuck Christmas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Enjoy your sadfic responsibly <3


End file.
